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YO-LANDI VI$$ER

I've had a massive crush on Yolandi ever since I discovered the joys of Die Antwoord and their massive tune Enter the Ninja last year, but after last night’s electric performance at WHP, I think we can officially turn that into a case of the full-on hots. Yolandi now has the honour of holding the official title of ‘The One Woman I Would Turn For’, hands down, no questions asked. With her gold leggings, ghetto hoodie, shaved and bleached pixie mullet and a mouth you wouldn’t kiss your mother with, she is perhaps the sexiest woman around right now – and a refreshingly different one too. My obsession with Die Antwoord has now increased tenfold, as I somehow managed to wiggle my way to the very front where I had about 45 minutes of unadulterated and completely sexual Afrikaans thrown in my face, along with Ninja’s mahoosive penis and the entire contents of Yolandi’s bottle of water [via her mouth].

'I GOT WHAT YOU WANT BOY

I GOT WHAT YOU WANT

I GOT WHAT YOU WANT BOY

YOU NEVER GONNA GET IT

I GOT WHAT YOU WANT BOY

I GOT WHAT YOU WANT

NO YOU NEVER GONNA GET IT

SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL FORGET IT'

Zef Lyf.

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